Highlights From the C4C Pong Tournament
Andrew Housser
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The pretense of raising a few dollars for the kids provided the perfect excuse for GSBers to devolve into primitive collegiate shenanigans during the C4C Pong Tournament on Friday, November 16th. In place of LPF, tournament organizers set up 6 pong tables and 7 kegs at 2 tapping stations. 96 participants making up 48 teams took to the tables at approximately 6:00 pm for the first round of play.
Competition in the first round was fierce. With the Smashing Rule in effect (allowing players to smash the ball back at their opponents if the ball was hit off the table), some players’ excessive zeal caused tempers to flare. Elizabeth “Pipes” Newman, MBA2 was overheard saying, “When I’m smashing the ball, I’m not aiming for the cups, I want to take their heads off.” Her aggressive play, which included hitting at least as many opponents’ cups as foreheads got her and partner Lara “Falling Down” Bridges , MBA2 into the second round.
There were, however, plenty of upsets in the first round, including Big Green heavyweights Doug “Livin” Scott, MBA2 and Andrea “Loaded” Lodzeiski, MBA1. In addition, Sean “So Old School I’m Pre-School” Arnold, MBA1 was sent away complaining about the new school pong crowd that enjoyed Lob over Speed pong.
After a first round that seemed to last longer than an OD lecture, the Round of 16 began with teams playing each other in the best two games out of three to advance to the Quarterfinals. Carlos “Dominguez” Dominguez, MBA2 from Cuba via Miami, could be heard spewing smack from across the oval as his team easily advanced. Unfortunately for him that smack was quickly shut down in the Quarterfinals as his team got pummeled by Geoff (MBA2) and Keith “Les Frères Fromages” Lieberthal.
After the Round of 16 and the Quarterfinals, four teams remained. By this time, the crowd had dwindled down to no more than 20 hard-core pong enthusiasts.
The first Semifinal match pitted Andrew “The Mad Canuck” Housser, MBA2 and Andy “The Nugget” Martin, BizPartner against Bradford “No Red Meat” Stroh and Alden “No Cheese Please” Romney, MBA2s. Brad’s strength was clearly waning as Alden had forced him to drink beer for both of them all night while complaining, “Beer makes me bloated, why can’t I play with Vodka?” After splitting the first two games, the teams found themselves at a 4-4 tie in the deciding game. One point away from victory, Brad and Alden were looking strong as their shots honed in to within inches of the cup. But when someone from the crowd pointed out that combining their diets into one would result in a Zima drinking Vegan, they lost their concentration for just long enough to allow Andy Martin to hit the match winning shot, advancing his team into the finals.
In the other side of the draw, Geoff and Keith’s semi-final opponents disappeared without a trace before the match got underway giving Les Frères Fromages a bye into the finals.
In what some called a fitting All-Dartmouth final, the two teams started off exchanging hits, saves and trash talk. After 15 minutes of close competition, Geoff looked worriedly at his brother and whispered, “We need to be at the techno club in SF in 30 minutes.” Like techo-raver demons possessed, Geoff and Keith proceeded to unleash a barrage of hits and sinks that ended the game in minutes. The victors took no time to celebrate, and instead made straight for the parking lot pulling black sweaters over their heads as they ran. Geoff’s last words were, “Somebody better write an article about this so I can send a copy to my fraternity brothers.”
Lest we forget what the night was “really” about, about $1,000 was raised for C4C and everybody had a good time in the process. Thanks to tournament organizers, Carlos Dominguez, David Landry and John Stasinos, MBA2s.