The Stanford Business Reporter

      “It’s an open secret that students spend most of the current 105-minute class period in a daze,” said Joss. “In fact, our research shows that ninety percent of the learning in any class happens in a single ten-minute period.” That ten-minute period, he added, “almost always comes at the very beginning of class.”

      “That being the case,” continued the dean, “why bother with the last hour and a half? We’re just making you suffer.”

      Student reaction was almost entirely positive. “It’s about time,” said Melanie Kansil, MBA1. “After the first cold call, I always just sit back and daydream. If you’re in the skydeck, you can at least play solitaire on your Palm.”

      Rod Morris, MBA2, agreed. “I have a small bladder, and I can never make it through the whole class period,” he explained. “I get so embarrassed, having to walk out of class in front of everybody. They all look at me.”

      Of the two hundred students surveyed by The Reporter, virtually everyone agreed with Kansil. The exception, Leena Ved, MBA2¸ expressed surprise upon learning that classes currently last one hour forty-five minutes, and vowed to look into the matter.

      David Kreps, dean of academics, provided more detail about the new system. “We’re looking to maintain a format similar to what we have today, but taking only one-ninth of the time,” he explained. “For example, we would expect that professors would now take only the first minute of class for irrelevant chit-chat. Then we would expect one minute of humiliation of someone unprepared, followed by ten minutes of rehashing of case facts. The last three minutes are at the professor’s discretion.”

      Each day’s classes will now begin at 1:00 PM and conclude by 2:15 PM, said Greg Miliotes, MBA2, chair of the SA Academic Committee.

 

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