The Stanford Business Reporter

      First-year reaction to the change was overwhelmingly positive. “I came here from a software-engineering firm that had a total of two women, both married,” explained SomeFirstYearHere, MBA1. “I thought that it would be better here, with a lighter workload and nice weather. But the closest I’ve come to getting some action was when we hit some choppy water on the booze cruise.”

      Jonathan King, MBA1, concurred with this assessment. “I was so sure that this place would be swinging that I redecorated my Schwab room in red velvet. But they all turn out to be married, or engaged, or whatever. I’m dying here, man.”

      Second-year students, while applauding the switch, expressed some regret that it had not been made earlier. “This is great for the new guys,” said David Landry, MBA2. “But it comes about 600 bags of Goose peanuts too late for me.”

      Some were even less enthused. “How does this help me?” asked Alden Romney, MBA2. “I’ve been working on my game for almost two years, and what has it gotten me? Nothing but lonely nights and a lifetime bar from Paly.”

      When asked, Bolton was reluctant to criticize his predecessor, Marie Mookini. “Marie did a fine job,” he said cautiously. “We’ve had more than our share of hotties. But she just didn’t bring in the numbers. The class of 2002 is 40% women, which sounds great—but where does it leave the bottom-feeders?”

      The administration expressed support for the shift. “I think this could really improve the quality of life around here,” explained Bob Joss. “I have a call in to BusinessWeek to tell them all about it.”

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