The Stanford Business Reporter

Sunday, November 18^th, the GSB Rugby team, fortified by the prior day’s Big Game Budweisers and bratwursts, awakened at the crack of noon to face the Stanford undergraduates in the Stanford Cup - an internecine rivalry of such intensity that even several onlooking Uzbeks and Pashtuns blushed. The showdown, which encapsulated the long-standing animosity between the two clubs, ultimately belonged to the more experienced, better-looking and generally more interesting GSBers, who wilted the flower of youth and cudgeled the juniors by a score of a lot to a little (34-15).

Fleet of foot and strong in limb, the GSB was quick to shake off its post-Bacchic lethargy. Hard-hitting tackles by forwards Peter “Body-Rock” Brimm and Jeff “Is This Legal?” Helminski, along with outward anger of Chip “Chip” Fortson, Colin “Typhoon” Breeze and Ed “Watch Me” Holder, enabled the monster squad to assert its dominance from the onset. Complementing their pack, scrum-half Andrew “New Zealand is Too a Country” Walker and Scott “If Not Now, When?” Earthy deftly orchestrated the GSB offense, nourishing backs Andrew Houser, Michael Protz, and Dave Berry with continuously well-placed ball feeds.

The team scored its first try in only the first seven minutes when Tim Holliday, who is not personally from the GSB but doesn’t mind the association, barreled down the left side of the pitch for a forty-yard run. Though the two-point after-kick slightly missed the mark, the GSBers wasted no time in regaining possession and advancing the pack further downfield. The second try came only minutes later off a scrum when veteran Hennie Strydom grabbed a loose ball and bashed his way through the unsuspecting line of undergraduate forwards.  Earthy, the accomplished geometrician and all-around nice guy, overcame a seemingly impossible angle from the far left side of the field to drill the conversion kick for another two points.

            While catching their breath and talking trash, the GSBers were caught flatfooted when the undergraduates furtively gained control of the ball on a throw-in and booted it over the heads of the GSB backs. Minutes later, after much leg-biting, nail-scratching, and hair-pulling, the seemingly innocent undergrads found themselves in the GSB endzone and converted the kick for their first seven points. Enraged and even a little hurt, the GSB went berserk when Strydom elbowed his way past the minions of undergrads for the GSB’s third try. Earthy, in a less daunting position, giggled his way up to the ball and converted the kick to bring the score to 19-7. The half soon came to a close, but not before the GSB allowed the undergrads one more try as a gesture of goodwill and then reclaimed it with a twenty yard lunge by Tim Holliday for yet another try.

Having replenished their fluids and become emboldened by the several comely lady GSB Ruggers that showed up to cheer on the team, the GSBers stormed the field for the second half. One notable addition was scrum-half Mark “Boom-Boom” Chan, whose tardiness was readily accepted by the team due to his inability to remember where he had parked his car the night before. Chan soon rekindled the harmony that he and his high-school teammate, Scott Earthy, previously knew to effectively control the midfield.  The undergrads, for their part, adjusted and matched the GSBers by calling on the youthful energy of the many teenagers they started. Soon, they scored with a sprint down their right side to bring the overall score to an uncomfortable 26-21. The GSB muscled its way back with another try by Jens Sedemund.  The balance of the half was then battled out in the midfield with a lot of give and take from both sides. Finally, the closing whistle shrilled and the GSB emerged victorious.

While the overall pace of the half was a tad less snappy than the first, the GSBers ignored the dry-heaves of dehydration to relish their win and congratulate the undergrads for a game well-played. This game, the GSB’s first, brings the GSB record to 1-0 and served to prepare the team for a more active spring term cultivating in the Pan-MBA Duke Tournament.

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