Budget Shortfall at GSB – Students Traded!
Top students sold to Harvard, Kellogg
Issue date: 12/3/01 Section: Humor
As world events send the economy south, Stanford sends its students east.
On Nov 23, the GSB traded nine (9) MBA students to Eastern schools for a mix of cash, equity and old HBS cases.
Invisible hands
“The job market is down so MBA schools are under pressure to make their [recruiting placement] numbers” revealed Matty Yohannan, MBA1.
“This means strong demand for top-drawer students, and – without wishing to sound arrogant – at Stanford they are in plentiful supply.”
“I think of our exports as ambassadors tapped by the invisible hand, albeit in the middle of the night” said Prof. David Kreps.
“But they’re not lost to us – I’ve promised to Fedex all 17 remaining installments of my book.”
The cupboard was bare
GSB financiers say trades were needed to boost the bottom line. “The GSB was $500K in the hole this year” said Sharm Scheuerman, MBA2. “We mistakenly figured a company running a stock competition was a pretty good risk.”
Stanford’s finest
So who’s gone? Not all names are known at this time but faculty has already sent three Siebel Scholars and has promised two students from the initial ’03 Dean’s List.
One putting his golf clubs in storage already was footballer-turned-i-banker Charles Young, MBA1. “I played for the Raiders, 49ers and Giants so I guess this is just one more trade” he said, sportingly. “Kellogg can’t be that much worse than freezing my butt at Soldier Field.”
HBS, Kellogg “fine”
Dean Joss was quick to agree. “I’m sure Kellogg and HBS are absolutely fine” he said. “The campuses sure look terrific from the plane.”
Price good too
Even faculty with tenure were lining up behind the Dean.
“The price was more than fair” opined Professor John “Jack” McDonald. “All the profs got in on the deal and – well, let’s just say we’re not flying commercial!”
Cash for kids, beer
So where’s the money going? A delighted Co-President Steve Boord , MBA2, said “We filled the budget shortfall and more. So we have more to spend on important community activities like PMP”.
Canadian Co-President Dan Langer, MBA2, chose to focus on beer. “Now we can stop hiding the dollars at FOAM.”
This article was prepared by Andrew Jones as a basis for procrastination, not to illustrate the either effective or ineffective handling of an administrative situation.
On Nov 23, the GSB traded nine (9) MBA students to Eastern schools for a mix of cash, equity and old HBS cases.
Invisible hands
“The job market is down so MBA schools are under pressure to make their [recruiting placement] numbers” revealed Matty Yohannan, MBA1.
“This means strong demand for top-drawer students, and – without wishing to sound arrogant – at Stanford they are in plentiful supply.”
“I think of our exports as ambassadors tapped by the invisible hand, albeit in the middle of the night” said Prof. David Kreps.
“But they’re not lost to us – I’ve promised to Fedex all 17 remaining installments of my book.”
The cupboard was bare
GSB financiers say trades were needed to boost the bottom line. “The GSB was $500K in the hole this year” said Sharm Scheuerman, MBA2. “We mistakenly figured a company running a stock competition was a pretty good risk.”
Stanford’s finest
So who’s gone? Not all names are known at this time but faculty has already sent three Siebel Scholars and has promised two students from the initial ’03 Dean’s List.
One putting his golf clubs in storage already was footballer-turned-i-banker Charles Young, MBA1. “I played for the Raiders, 49ers and Giants so I guess this is just one more trade” he said, sportingly. “Kellogg can’t be that much worse than freezing my butt at Soldier Field.”
HBS, Kellogg “fine”
Dean Joss was quick to agree. “I’m sure Kellogg and HBS are absolutely fine” he said. “The campuses sure look terrific from the plane.”
Price good too
Even faculty with tenure were lining up behind the Dean.
“The price was more than fair” opined Professor John “Jack” McDonald. “All the profs got in on the deal and – well, let’s just say we’re not flying commercial!”
Cash for kids, beer
So where’s the money going? A delighted Co-President Steve Boord , MBA2, said “We filled the budget shortfall and more. So we have more to spend on important community activities like PMP”.
Canadian Co-President Dan Langer, MBA2, chose to focus on beer. “Now we can stop hiding the dollars at FOAM.”
This article was prepared by Andrew Jones as a basis for procrastination, not to illustrate the either effective or ineffective handling of an administrative situation.
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