The Gift of Gab
by La Vonda Williams, MBA2 & Sabrina Moyle, MBA2
Issue date: 10/29/01 Section: Features
“A man’s value to the community primarily depends on how far his feelings, thoughts, and actions are directed towards promoting the good of his fellows.” –Albert Einstein
Stop Draggin’ Around
Some of you know me better than others and some not at all. In either case, I hope there is some relevance in all of this for you. The comments offered this week are not founded on a psychologist’s expert opinion, but rather borne of my personal experience.
I want to share my reflections on my interactions over the past few weeks and how the themes map to the GSB community in general. Those who know me best are most aware of that fact that I have been “in a funk” for the last few weeks. While functional and socially engaged, I have been mentally and emotionally overloaded. Some of you may have observed my “ball-dropping,” broken commitments, unreturned emails and the like. I was pre-occupied with evaluating all the dissatisfying dimensions of my life. Yet, I was too busy to step back and see anything clearly. All this mental distraction only led me to be worse at all my undertakings. Then fatigue set in, followed by the flu…and before you know it I, who just last column was espousing optimism for the coming recruiting season, was completely down in the dumps.
Of course we all go through periods of waxing and waning happiness. But, as one my girls put it “bud, I think you need to snap out of it”--this one was lasting just a little too long. Not only did she and I have a long conversation, but also this whole week has been full of similar such unexpected blessings.
I have had the most unique set of interactions this week. Not to be dramatic (as you guys know I can be), but it was as if the stars lined up and all the messages of the universe that I needed were showered on me. They were too numerous to be coincidental. Moreover, most of them came from people who really don’t know me very well–yet the timing and content was absolutely uncanny.
I’m not talking merely about pep-talk or compliments (though I’ve heard some really kind things this week as well). It was more like “Real World” meets “Touchy Feely.” Some of you have made some sharp incisions. Over the last week my attitude, disposition, prospects, my use of time, my premises for choices and my interpretations have been challenged. Some people really went out on a limb to tell me things that are difficult to say, and even more difficult to hear. It was the confluence of all these messages that really hit home. The greatest author could not have penned more clever symbolism, ironies or metaphors.
I wish everyone could have a week like mine. Most of you have no idea how you’ve impacted my life by contributing your words. Fleeting conversations have amounted to a major weight being lifted and to my renewed sense of elation and taking things in stride. Unbeknownst to most of you, you have given me a gift I could have never asked for! I sincerely thank you.
Say You, Say Me
So, like any self-respecting MBA student you must inquire, “Is this model scalable?” And of course I wouldn’t have brought it up if I didn’t think so. Our environment offers us so many opportunities to use our gift of gab in so many different settings: class discussions, receptions, club meetings, or casual conversations with friends. Many do take advantage of these opportunities to share their thoughts to the benefit of all.
On the other hand, I have heard from a number of you who had comments to offer friends or the community, but opted not to. Some didn’t want to seem invasive, preachy or “the one” known for a certain ideology. I appreciate your sensitivity to people’s readiness or willingness to receive critique. At the same time, I submit that an environment devoid of constructive feedback is far worse one without any ruffled feathers.
Among us are incredible minds full of insight, vision and understanding. Hazard to offer those gifts to others. The thoughts you withhold might be the very words someone would value hearing. There seems to be no taboo about self-deprecation or unbridled criticism–a pity. What a poor use of words.
This brings me to my feelings about the flaming taking place on GSB-Unofficial, words expended in vain. Believe me, I do love sharp humor and share the desire to keep the legend of JD Moriarty, GSB 01, alive (first years find a second year to ask about this or to send you a sample), although there is an obvious difference between sarcasm, wit and belittlement. Unfortunately, it is hard to know where this line is, especially within in an ever-changing body of people. As members of a community, our responsibility to the whole should tip the scale towards temperance.
The things we choose to share with one another can be meaningful or futile. I am certainly not advocating that every word out of our mouths should be of great consequence. Rather, I am hoping that we all think twice before uttering things that my have an undesirable effect. And most of all, remember that a few constructive or inspiring words can mean so much to someone else. When these urges hit you, give in to them!
If you wish to keep this dialogue open, ask questions or offer suggestions for future columns= topics, please email kaizen@gsb.stanford.edu.
Stop Draggin’ Around
Some of you know me better than others and some not at all. In either case, I hope there is some relevance in all of this for you. The comments offered this week are not founded on a psychologist’s expert opinion, but rather borne of my personal experience.
I want to share my reflections on my interactions over the past few weeks and how the themes map to the GSB community in general. Those who know me best are most aware of that fact that I have been “in a funk” for the last few weeks. While functional and socially engaged, I have been mentally and emotionally overloaded. Some of you may have observed my “ball-dropping,” broken commitments, unreturned emails and the like. I was pre-occupied with evaluating all the dissatisfying dimensions of my life. Yet, I was too busy to step back and see anything clearly. All this mental distraction only led me to be worse at all my undertakings. Then fatigue set in, followed by the flu…and before you know it I, who just last column was espousing optimism for the coming recruiting season, was completely down in the dumps.
Of course we all go through periods of waxing and waning happiness. But, as one my girls put it “bud, I think you need to snap out of it”--this one was lasting just a little too long. Not only did she and I have a long conversation, but also this whole week has been full of similar such unexpected blessings.
I have had the most unique set of interactions this week. Not to be dramatic (as you guys know I can be), but it was as if the stars lined up and all the messages of the universe that I needed were showered on me. They were too numerous to be coincidental. Moreover, most of them came from people who really don’t know me very well–yet the timing and content was absolutely uncanny.
I’m not talking merely about pep-talk or compliments (though I’ve heard some really kind things this week as well). It was more like “Real World” meets “Touchy Feely.” Some of you have made some sharp incisions. Over the last week my attitude, disposition, prospects, my use of time, my premises for choices and my interpretations have been challenged. Some people really went out on a limb to tell me things that are difficult to say, and even more difficult to hear. It was the confluence of all these messages that really hit home. The greatest author could not have penned more clever symbolism, ironies or metaphors.
I wish everyone could have a week like mine. Most of you have no idea how you’ve impacted my life by contributing your words. Fleeting conversations have amounted to a major weight being lifted and to my renewed sense of elation and taking things in stride. Unbeknownst to most of you, you have given me a gift I could have never asked for! I sincerely thank you.
Say You, Say Me
So, like any self-respecting MBA student you must inquire, “Is this model scalable?” And of course I wouldn’t have brought it up if I didn’t think so. Our environment offers us so many opportunities to use our gift of gab in so many different settings: class discussions, receptions, club meetings, or casual conversations with friends. Many do take advantage of these opportunities to share their thoughts to the benefit of all.
On the other hand, I have heard from a number of you who had comments to offer friends or the community, but opted not to. Some didn’t want to seem invasive, preachy or “the one” known for a certain ideology. I appreciate your sensitivity to people’s readiness or willingness to receive critique. At the same time, I submit that an environment devoid of constructive feedback is far worse one without any ruffled feathers.
Among us are incredible minds full of insight, vision and understanding. Hazard to offer those gifts to others. The thoughts you withhold might be the very words someone would value hearing. There seems to be no taboo about self-deprecation or unbridled criticism–a pity. What a poor use of words.
This brings me to my feelings about the flaming taking place on GSB-Unofficial, words expended in vain. Believe me, I do love sharp humor and share the desire to keep the legend of JD Moriarty, GSB 01, alive (first years find a second year to ask about this or to send you a sample), although there is an obvious difference between sarcasm, wit and belittlement. Unfortunately, it is hard to know where this line is, especially within in an ever-changing body of people. As members of a community, our responsibility to the whole should tip the scale towards temperance.
The things we choose to share with one another can be meaningful or futile. I am certainly not advocating that every word out of our mouths should be of great consequence. Rather, I am hoping that we all think twice before uttering things that my have an undesirable effect. And most of all, remember that a few constructive or inspiring words can mean so much to someone else. When these urges hit you, give in to them!
If you wish to keep this dialogue open, ask questions or offer suggestions for future columns= topics, please email kaizen@gsb.stanford.edu.