How to Ride a Bus in Rio
Jamie Earle
Issue date: 10/1/01 Section: Summer Experiences
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Remember the reports we wrote in grade school – "What I did over summer vacation?" Well, I had to write mine in the middle of the summer just in case I didn't make it back. I hadn’t yet figured out if that would be because I was so in love with the wonderful beaches and warm people that I would choose to stay and work in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil forever, or if it was because I was actually going to die in a bus accident, which, if you've ever ridden a Rio bus, you'll agree is entirely possible.
Just in case you are planning to travel to Rio de Janeiro, I thought I'd give you a little advice on how to "strategize" the bus system. Yes, it does take strategy. Read on.
Guide to the bus system in Rio de Janeiro
Don't take the bus. If you must take the bus, only take it during daylight hours, otherwise you may be "assaltado."
The bus lines and getting downtown. There are roughly fifty million different bus lines in Rio de Janeiro, half of which go to downtown from the neighborhoods in the South Zone (the city has a South Zone and a North Zone), though none via the same route. If you need to get downtown from the Zona Sul neighborhoods, you can take the 121, 123, 125 or 132, all marked "Central." There are a number of other buses also marked "Central." If the bus is not 121, 123, 125 or 132, they are JUST KIDDING!
How to get off the bus. If you take the 132, the bus will not stop downtown unless you ring the stop button and yell at the driver. You must push the orange "pare" button and yell at least twice. Sometimes you have to hit the driver to get him to pay attention to you. It's best to carry something heavy.
The real truth about bus stops. Buses in Rio de Janeiro don't stop at every exit. They stop at selected exits. This is entirely up to the bus driver and how he feels that day. There are no postings indicating which buses stop where. You must have ESP.
The bus driver reserves the right not to stop at the usual exits. You must flag the bus down if you would like it to stop. This only works at the bus's usual exits, which are not marked. Use large arm gestures to flag the buses down. The bus driver reserves the right not to pick you up even when you use large arm gestures.
Getting on the bus. You get on the bus in the back and get off in the front. If you try getting on in the front, the driver will take off without you. Don't dally getting on the bus. If you dally getting on the bus, the driver will take off without you. If you don't dally getting on the bus, the bus driver will take off without you. If the bus starts taking off while you are getting on, you must pound the side of the bus really hard with your fist and yell.
How to hang on. As soon as you step into the bus, hang on. The bus driver likes to play "Weebles." The maximum speed limit is 90 kph. The bus drivers think of this more as a suggestion than a hard-and-fast rule. They usually slow down to 90 when turning a corner or waiting for an old lady in the crosswalk.
In the next issue, I'll give you pointers on how to survive a "futebol" game at Maracanã.
Just in case you are planning to travel to Rio de Janeiro, I thought I'd give you a little advice on how to "strategize" the bus system. Yes, it does take strategy. Read on.
Guide to the bus system in Rio de Janeiro
Don't take the bus. If you must take the bus, only take it during daylight hours, otherwise you may be "assaltado."
The bus lines and getting downtown. There are roughly fifty million different bus lines in Rio de Janeiro, half of which go to downtown from the neighborhoods in the South Zone (the city has a South Zone and a North Zone), though none via the same route. If you need to get downtown from the Zona Sul neighborhoods, you can take the 121, 123, 125 or 132, all marked "Central." There are a number of other buses also marked "Central." If the bus is not 121, 123, 125 or 132, they are JUST KIDDING!
How to get off the bus. If you take the 132, the bus will not stop downtown unless you ring the stop button and yell at the driver. You must push the orange "pare" button and yell at least twice. Sometimes you have to hit the driver to get him to pay attention to you. It's best to carry something heavy.
The real truth about bus stops. Buses in Rio de Janeiro don't stop at every exit. They stop at selected exits. This is entirely up to the bus driver and how he feels that day. There are no postings indicating which buses stop where. You must have ESP.
The bus driver reserves the right not to stop at the usual exits. You must flag the bus down if you would like it to stop. This only works at the bus's usual exits, which are not marked. Use large arm gestures to flag the buses down. The bus driver reserves the right not to pick you up even when you use large arm gestures.
Getting on the bus. You get on the bus in the back and get off in the front. If you try getting on in the front, the driver will take off without you. Don't dally getting on the bus. If you dally getting on the bus, the driver will take off without you. If you don't dally getting on the bus, the bus driver will take off without you. If the bus starts taking off while you are getting on, you must pound the side of the bus really hard with your fist and yell.
How to hang on. As soon as you step into the bus, hang on. The bus driver likes to play "Weebles." The maximum speed limit is 90 kph. The bus drivers think of this more as a suggestion than a hard-and-fast rule. They usually slow down to 90 when turning a corner or waiting for an old lady in the crosswalk.
In the next issue, I'll give you pointers on how to survive a "futebol" game at Maracanã.