Adventures in White Water Rafting
Shani Jackson
Issue date: 10/1/01 Section: Outdoor Adventures
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As the over 100 “rafters” awoke early Saturday morning, curiosity hung in the air as folks anticipated how they could raft without water. The White Water Adventure staff, the company responsible for the rafting trip, introduced the idea of a Low-Flow Olympics competition. Perhaps the idea wasn’t properly marketed, but substituting “splashing around in water” and sumo wrestling for the rush of rolling down cascading water, hitting rocks and shooting over rapids, didn’t quite appeal to everyone. However, any folks who were poor sports didn’t want to show it so soon in their GSB career.
As instructed by the White Water Adventure staff, 13-15 people gathered in their pre-assigned groups and designed a team name and flag under which the group would compete during the weekend. The all-star rafters came up with creative team names: Dream Team, In N Out, Phat Bastards, Taco Pirates, Feed the Chicken, Blue Bull (named after the Schlitz run they had made on their travels to the camp site), Hepatitis C-Catch the Fever, and Moxie.
The eight teams were split into two groups with four teams in each group. One group “rafted” on Saturday while the other stayed at camp, sumo wrestled, and competed in water sports. The consensus--both groups had a good time. That may be, however, where agreement ends.
The rafting trip on Saturday began with good, clean fun. After a slow start sitting under the baking hot desert sun for a few hours, water fights, dunking contests, good eating, and laughter took over as groups prepared to take on the very tame American River. Soon after, however, the competitive spirit of GSBers took over as Dream Team, Phat Bastards, Taco Pirates, and Moxie all competed for the golden egg and to collect the most Easter Eggs. There were reports of foul play on the part of both Taco Pirates and Phat Bastards. River rafters used it as an opportunity to jokingly highlight the importance of ethics at the GSB. While a few guilt-ridden members of Taco Pirates eventually admitted to wrongfully stealing eggs from other teams, Phat Bastards denied any shady behaviors in their quest to win the Low-Flow Olympics. A member of Phat Bastards released this statement. “Contrary to allegations made by the competition, the Phat Bastards did not cheat. Yes, we used some unorthodox tactics, but as they say in French (or at least I think they do), in love and war…” The fun of the day was certainly not overshadowed by these events. It simply combined with the water fights, bumper boats, raft guides mooning other rafters, and occasional “rafters” being knocked out of their boat to make for fun stories and common threads for first years at the GSB.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, a different dynamic had been unearthed. It appeared that the fiercely competitive spirit so alive on the American River was dead in Coloma where the other group was competing. There were competitions to see who could LOSE the Low-Flow Olympics. A Blue Bull team member described his team’s strategy. “Blissfully hung over Saturday, we take to some really weak events, like sumo wrestling. Our team is totally NOT into it so we pressure Andrew Hungerford, MBA1, to get dressed in a sumo suit. We had a secret strategy to try not to gain any points the whole time. Andrew got so angry that he had to get into this smelly wet sumo suit that he just totally obliterated his opponent which included tossing him on the wooden benches and "bitch-slapping" him.” Members of Feed the Chicken also admit to working to lose the competition.
However, In N Out, the winning team for the day’s events, had a different take. According to In N Out team member Chris Pennya, MBA1, his teammate Megumi Oikawa, MBA1, inspired the team to victory early on in the day by using swift, nimble moves and knowledge of sumo wrestling tactics to defeat a larger opponent. That, he believes, inspired In N Out early on and left the competition discouraged.
The day’s events were even further complemented by the evening’s events that culminated with a jaunt to the infamous Coloma Club. Spirits were high as GSBers danced and partied at the Coloma Club. A few of the men in the group, however, were invaded and harassed by a certain woman. Omar Gonzalez, MBA1, a victim of “the violator,” shares his take on the evening. “Apparently the Coloma townies drink about as much or even more than we do. This apparently made one woman believe she was invisible. So, she would hide on a corner of the dance floor and when a guy walked by she would just start grabbing his nads and butt. I'm talking grabbing with force. We were violated, and it was even worse when you had a drink in each hand and couldn't fend her off.” Kevin Williams, MBA1, reports, however, that he managed to snap a picture of Mathew Yohannon, MBA1, dancing with this aggressive young violator. The evening ended at approximately 2AM, after which partying continued for some into the night, while others returned to the hard ground of their tent.
Teams were to switch places on Sunday, with Hepatitis C-Catch the Fever, Blue Bull, In N Out, and Feed the Chicken rafting while the other teams stayed at the campsite. Already disappointed by the low water and trying to avoid a late return to campus, teams came up with their own schedule for the day. While In N Out and Blue Bull decided to raft (and we heard of more foul play, if not smart strategy, with reports of Blue Bull team member Mark Breimhorst, MBA1, getting in the water to deflate some of the floating rafts), Feed the Chicken and Hepatitis C-Catch the Fever chose their own team events. They hiked, ate dinner, and just spent time together as a team. In N Out and Blue Bull both reported a good time on the American River, in spite of the lack of rapids. And back at the ranch, a few of the Taco Pirates and Dream Teamers kayaked while the other teams hiked and dined.
So, the weekend wasn’t as expected, but most report to having had a good time. A few lessons in ethics, sexual harassment, and marketing were learned. People met their classmates and started the beginnings of hilarious memories for their two years at the GSB. Shai Fischer’s final words on the whole weekend? “My take: met some great people. Start saving for a liver transplant by the end of these 2 years.” With health care costs these days, we hope next time there are rapids so our classmate’s livers aren’t in such jeopardy.